"Acronym Update"
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defective Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide WAIT
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
RISC Reduced Into Silly Code
486 The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete Any computer you own.
Microsecond The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
GUI ("gooey") What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Keyboard The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer
Hard Drive The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Portable Computer A device invented to force businesspeople to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System update A quick method of trashing all of your current software.