| PCMCIA | People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms |
| ISDN | It Still Does Nothing |
| APPLE | Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity |
| SCSI | System Can't See It |
| DOS | Defective Operating System |
| BASIC | Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control |
| IBM | I Blame Microsoft |
| DEC | Do Expect Cuts |
| CD-ROM | Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months |
| OS/2 | Obsolete Soon, Too. |
| WWW | World Wide WAIT |
| MACINTOSH | Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs |
| PENTIUM | Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics |
| COBOL | Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language |
| AMIGA | A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction |
| LISP | Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis |
| MIPS | Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed |
| WINDOWS | Will Install Needless Data On Whole System |
| GIRO | Garbage In Rubbish Out |
| MICROSOFT | Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers |
| RISC | Reduced Into Silly Code |
| 486 | The average IQ needed to understand a PC. |
| State-of-the-art | Any computer you can't afford. |
| Obsolete | Any computer you own. |
| Microsecond | The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. |
| Syntax Error | "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." |
| GUI ("gooey") | What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. |
| Computer Chip | Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming. |
| Keyboard | The standard way to generate computer errors. |
| Mouse | An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. |
| Floppy | The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer |
| Hard Drive | The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen. |
| Portable Computer | A device invented to force businesspeople to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. |
| Disk Crash | A typical computer response to any critical deadline. |
| Power User | Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. |
| System update | A quick method of trashing all of your current software. |