Believe it or not, the following signs really do exist! Collected between 1960 and 1990.

ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. IN A NORVEGIAN COCTAIL LOUNGE: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. IN A BUDAPEST ZOO: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. IN A PLUSH HOTEL IN BUDAPEST: All rooms not denounced by twelve o'clock will be paid for twicely. ON HUNGARIAN VISA APPLICATION: Your answers should be typewritten or printed in case of handwriting. IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR: Specialist in women and other diseases. IN AN ACAPULCO HOTEL: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. IN A TOKYO SHOP: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION ABOUT USING THE AIRCONDITIONER: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. TWO SIGNS FROM A MAJORCAN SHOP ENTRANCE: - English well speaking - Here speeching American. IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANERS: Drop your trousers here for best results. OUTSIDE A PARIS DRESS SHOP: Dresses for street walking. IN A RHODES TAILOR SHOP: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. FROM THE SOVIET WEEKLY: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S BLACK FOREST: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. IN A ZÜRICH HOTEL: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. IN AN ADVERTISEMENT BY A HONG KONG DENTIST: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. IN A ROME LAUNDRY: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. IN A CHECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. IN PRAGUE IN A WINDOW SHOP: We are told that the pigskin wallets are Made of pure Pork! IN A PRAGUE HOTEL SIGN ON TELEVISION: If set brakes, inform manager, do not interfere with yourself. IN THE SAME PRAGUE HOTEL ON THE MENUE: Sprouts of Brussels -and- Soap of the Day. ON A CRUISE SHIP ON THE BLACK SEA: Words of comfort inside the cabin: "Help savering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosomes and meet behind.Flee then to the indifferent lifesavering shippen obediencing the instructs of the vessel chef. IN WARNA ON THE BLACK SEA: Women wearing topless suit will be put into the hands of the authorities. IN DOWNTOWN WARNA: Accidents are prohibited on this road. AT YALTA: BEACHSIDE INSTRUCTIONS: It is prohibited in all cases that men or women dress, to change the street suit or dress by the bath suit and contrary. All nudity incorrection on the same aspect that not be in accord with traditional and good liking. What is published to be known and accomplished. The Minister. ON THE WRAPPER OF MOSCOW ICE CREAM: Do not taste our ice cream when it too hard. Please continue your conversation until the Soviet ice creamm grows into a softer. By adhering this advisement you will fully appreciate the wonderful Soviet ice cream. IN LENINGRAD HOTEL LOBBY: The passanger must get free the room before two o'clocks of the day they are abandoning. In other case,, as the passanger fracture the day he must the administration pay for full. IN KIEV: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. EAST BERLIN: UNTEN DEN LINDEN BOULEVARD: In a leather shop: Give your husband a belt. ADVERTISEMENT FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND: Would you like to ride on your own ass? IN A SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special today -- no ice cream. IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. IN A TOKYO BAR: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE: We take your bags and send them in all directions. IN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis. IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up. IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. IN BELGRADE'S STATE-OWNED SKYSCRAPER HOTEL: Let us known about an unficiency as well as leaking on the service as your life proceeds to the main desk. Our utmost will improve it. IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR Please leave your values at the front desk. IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. IN A YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL:: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. IN A JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS: Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. ON THE MENUE OF A SWISS RESTAURANT: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. ON THE MENUE OF A POLISH HOTEL:: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. OUTSIDE A HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.